im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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