the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize