That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
