Banned from zoo.
Again?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
