he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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