His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
