did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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