is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
