We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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