I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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