"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
