I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Success! We fucked roommates!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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