I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
