here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
