Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think people are normalizing furries
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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