Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize