I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
