yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
