I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize