I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
