Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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