This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
