She's JV to your varsity
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
