so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
