Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
