I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I forget how to act sober
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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