Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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