Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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