it hurts more in the daytime
false alarm. still invincible.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
