I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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