is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter