There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
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All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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