omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
