remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
this is an emotional support booty call
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"