she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't put those talents on a resume
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
