Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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