he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
