Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
