Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Two words: blizzard sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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