bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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