He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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