yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
