Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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