THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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