that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
