i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
