I think I am morally bankrupt
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
