The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
