im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
