I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Are we still banned from the library?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
