I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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