Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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