I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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