I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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