Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
