I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
