If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
