Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
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Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I could fuck to npr.
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He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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