I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
