i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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