I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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